And the saga continues....
Oh! How I wish there was an absolute shortage of the likes of Mr. XY. But the world wouldn't be half as interesting then, and how can the Universe allow a perfectly boring world to exist? Hence the kind I like to call 'the Stirrers'. Ones that stir the cauldron when it's needed and even when it's not needed. But don't get me wrong, I am not wearing my 'I love to pass judgement on others' hat, but what I mean is, The Stirrers are not some species that exist and breed, on the contrary they are a momentarily existential tribe which has indefinite characters that keep changing who and where they are. Okay, if I am not clear let me rephrase, The Stirrers are ever changing, it's not a group of individuals or just an individual like Jon Snow who knows nothing (#GameOfThrones reference) (P.S - My sincere apologies for readers that are not Game of Thrones fans) but the individuals that can cause discomfort or awkwardness due to lack of information or empathy. Even You an I can act as The Stirrers in different situations. I seriously hope you got it. If not, please forgive me and we will continue to talk as if the concept of The Stirrers isn't clear.
Here are some more interesting comments on the picture for your reference;
There are some sweet people who were nice enough to try and neutralize/ balance out the situation;
But now another friend of mine decided to let Mr. XY know what he did wrong and she texted me asking the same question Ms. T did. Lets call her Ms. N. And Oh Boy! could I sense outrage from her text. So both Ms. T and Ms. N were directly addressing not only Mr. XY but the other who decided to be funny about my weight difference then and now.
Initially it was a little funny how people are trying to be all humorous about it and I did go along with it but at one point I asked myself, would these people be the first ones to compliment if I was looking really stunning in a picture? Now, that is a different lot of people altogether, ones who usually have nice things to say about my pictures when they turn out decent. Those people are the ones who never cared whether I gained or lost a few pounds, was too tanned or may be had zit on my chin showing in any of the photos, they just comment with the kind words that first come to their mind when they see a decent photo.
Can I ask you something?
Here is me 3 years ago and me now;
What is wrong with this difference? Do I look any less confident or happy with myself in my 3 years after picture? Am I hiding my body ? or look like I am ashamed of it?
If I am not Unhappy with myself or my body, if I do not Love myself any different or judge myself any different based on the pounds I have put on the Why Does Anyone else have to????
I am very high on gratitude and feel tremendously blessed to have friends who think the way I do and will run to my rescue if anyone knowing or unknowingly tries to belittle me. I am eternally grateful that I am secure and confident enough to not let the likes of Mr. XY affect and influence the way I see myself, but to think, what if I was? what if they bestowed these supposedly kind words and generous compliments on someone who was struggling with self esteem and body image? to think of the consequences makes me sick to my stomach and induces discomfort and fear enough to nauseate me. People are so unforgiving of what fails to please them. So judgmental of anything that isn't theirs to protect. It brings me utter disappointment and anguish. Please don't get me wrong, some of these people are my dear ones, my friends, my family and I love them as I know they love me too but does that change the meaning of their words?
I truly, sincerely and genuinely hope Mr. XY and the likes understood what my dear sweet Ms. T and Ms. N were trying to tell them. I hope they have learned something from this incident and that the next time they decide to fire an arrow they will think at least once of the repercussions the arrow hitting or missing the target means, because even if the arrow misses it's target it is bound to hit and hurt something somewhere.
Someone very wise once said to me, "One who doesn't learn from life hasn't lived it yet.". I really hope we all learned something from this. Opinions are free to keep but cost to give, and believe me the price is always paid by both sides.
So may be we all need to be a little more forgiving of what doesn't appeal to us, may be we all should be a little more kind to another as we would be for ourselves, just may be....don't you think?
Published by Sneha Gaikwad