My world was shaken to the core when I had my daughter.
Magically, nothing else mattered once she was born.
I read lots of books during bed rest, and in doing so, I now
believed in the family bed, so every night we all made our
way to the same king sized bed.
The bed was peaceful bliss after a long busy day.
Too many fluffy pillows and overstuffed down comforters
made this the best room in our home-hands down.
As time has moved along, our little cherub has finally
stopped nursing...On her own terms and 1 week before she
turned 3years old. She's very definite, you know, very solid about her decisions.
I almost couldn't handle that part. I almost wasn't prepared for it, even
though I knew it was time. It was a surprise.
She had decided that she didn't need mommy's milk time any longer.
The ritual that we shared from the first few moments after her
emergence into this world...had now come to an end.
I thought that she would relapse or have a hard time adjusting, but
she was totally fine.
She sucked on fruit, sipped water and gnawed on biscuits, she
was completely fine.
I, on the other hand, was an emotional wreck.
Fast forward to 5 years old.
We also believe that children should be free to choose where
they would like to sleep until they are confident enough to sleep
in their own space.
We finally moved from our cozy apartment to a spacious house.
So, now we begin to hang twinkle lights and pink tulle, placed tiny
pink hangers in her closet, hung her pre-school artwork, filled her
huge toybox and loaded her bookshelf with colorful books and board games.
The piece de resistance: and a white wrought iron queen sized bed!
She absolutely refuses to sleep in this room.
She squeezes into our bed at about 2-3am every morning.
We even downsized from King to queen, in the hopes that it
would be too cozy for our late night visitor.
It hasn't worked. Ultimately, I end up vacating the bed
and going into her room just to get a good rest.
So, is this the way that this goes?
Is this my punishment for coddling her for too long?
Crunchy moms gone wrong?
Some nights, we wake up and run to her room just to
find out that she actually accidentally slept in her own bed all night!
It's not often, but it feels like a win, nonetheless.
Knowing what I know about how our nursing party
ended so abruptly-I know that the day is coming.
I am possibly a little nervous that she is going to simply
decide that she's had enough.
I am also nervous that I will have my own personal withdrawals.
Is that selfish of me?
It's hard to let go.
For now, I will continue to walk her to her room, read
her bedtime stories and hope for the best.
I want her to sleep in her own bed, right?
I think so.