A Wistful heart

I am at the club, it’s Emma’s 25th birthday and we are partying. Actually they are partying and i am just there,pretending to be partying and having a good time.I wouldn’t even be here if it wasnt for Zara, my best friend.Last couple of months I have been kind of anti-social and she thought it was high time that she took control of my social life.

Actually it started 172 days back exactly.The day my boyfriend and I broke up. We had been together for 7 years. I wouldn’t go into the whole saga. Lets just say, two perfectly made for each individuals were no more perfect.It was bad. It was ugly!!! I guess we faced the seven year itch.

Back to today,they have just finished their shots and we are making our way up to the private lounge. As I am climbing the stairs I see him making his way down. He is wearing the t-shirt i had got him and which he had hated.But now that he hates what he once loved the most, its obvious for him to like what he hated then.Oh and he is not alone.I mean no one goes clubbing alone but what the hell is she doing here. Okay she is his friend but from when did she become his friends friend!!!She is not his girlfriend, he never liked her.But then no one can guarantee the future.

He sees me.Our eyes meet and nothing.

That’s the saddest part.There was a time when our eyes spoke a million words,created fireworks, and now there is just the emptiness.I don't know either we have become strangers to not understand what each one is saying or i guess we don’t have anything left to say to each other.

Anyways my party is over and I make a u-turn to the exit while messaging Zara that I am going.I’l explain her everything later.I know she is going to be pissed .If the last few months have been worst for me they havent been much good for her either.Being my roommate,crying shoulder,my adviser, she has gone through everything that i have gone through too.

I hail a cab.Sitting in the cab, feeling the wind on my face my mind wanders back to him.To everything that we were and everything we aren’t anymore.We were supposed to be together forever but somewhere along the road to eternity we lost each other.It wasnt his fault neither was it mine.I still dont know what went wrong,what we could have done differently.I loved him lots and he loved me.We just didnt have the destiny with us.

Right now I want nothing more than to go back to the club,tell him how much I love him and that we can still make it work. To fall into his arms as he bear hugged me but I fall into an empty bed as the loneliness hugs me tightly taking me again on a journey of ifs and buts,a regret,a loss of a dream,a chance, a life.

Published by Tanvi Deshpande

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