I write this from the middle of the storm…
it’s a miracle I can still write because fear has taken captive of every part of me. My writing may be the only survivor of this storm. From where I stand, I see the raging waves and the roaring thunder, covering my eyes from the blinding lightening…it doesn’t look like an end would come, it doesn’t look like there is much hope.
From where I stand, I cannot see the shore…all I see is a mesh work of water and wind tumbling over each other in an endless race. One time, it seemed like it was subsiding and my hope grew, like a mighty power had heard my plea and waded in to save me but before I could even smile, the storm returned in angry revenge. Is there hope for me?…I am sitting in this boat, holding on tightly to the ropes else I would be forcibly expelled by the rocking vessel. Is there hope for me?
What haven’t I done? I have prayed…I have fasted….I have let go of the weights, the extra food, the extra cargo, the people I had caged with the bars of un-forgiveness but I am yet to see a difference. Is this some kind of punishment for my sins? But I thought the Lord said that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive. Surely, this is not a punishment.
‘Lord? Where are you?’ I lift my voice in a futile attempt to outdo the screaming thunder. ‘Are you really gonna let me die out here? I have tried everything and there is no way out.’ My angry voice soon gave way to subtle whimpers. ‘Don’t leave me…help me…deliver me, for I am weak but thou art mighty…’ I bent my head…awaiting my fate.
‘Sweetheart,’ I could almost swear that I heard a voice, not loud but audible and clearly distinct from the sound of the raging seas. Am I going crazy already or has my mind started playing tricks on me?
I was definitely losing it. The voice was nearer and still approaching plus I heard footsteps. I had to be sure this wasn’t just some auditory hallucination. I looked up and I saw him…it was really him! He had heard me.
It was my Father, my Savior! He had come to save me. He opened his arms and beckoned me to come. I left the ropes and ran into his embrace, and a peace enveloped me. I never wanted to leave his arms…ever! That was where I was meant to be.
Suddenly all fear evaporated, I was safe in his arms!
‘My child,’ he said to me. ‘Why do you doubt me? Where is your faith, O little one?’ He tightened his grip, ‘Don’t you know that I would never leave you…don’t you know that I would never forsake you? Don’t you realize that your life is hidden in mine and no one can hurt you except I allow it? Did you forget that I was right inside this boat?’
‘I am sorry Father, I was scared.’ I felt a bout of shame crop up in my heart. How could I have forgotten his mighty power that I have seen in action several times in my life, his intervention in situations that were even worse than this. Worse still, I even forgot that he was right in my boat! ‘Forgive me please…’
He let go of me and walked to the edge of the rocking boat, raised his arms and said ‘Peace be still.’ And the storm ceased...Praise God, his love never fails!