As its my birthday on the 19th of July and I am turning 27 years old, kudos to me not looking that age right? I thought I would share some of my wisdom things I have learned in 27years of my life that I have found vital to carry me through.
1. Not everyone is going to like you.
Let me explain this one, for years of my school life some of my collage life and more I have always worried about people liking me and having friends, I have always tried to put other people first and keep hold of that friendship when others mistreated me or the other way round even if it made me miserable cause I never wanted to be rejected of disliked, that was always and has been a battle for me to come to terms with, since growing up and getting to this point in my life I have to say I have grown stronger and worried less on people liking me, when your a real adult paying bills and keeping yourself situated, its okay if no one likes you, they don't pay your life's fees or buy your food, so don't worry about the pressure if they dislike you and make it a stress to get them to, I mean, not everyone in the world gets on with everyone... we have enough news articles to prove that.
2. Mental Health Doesn't Define Me.
My family and closest friends have watched me go through many chapters of my life dealing with depression, self harm, suicidal tendencies and more, some of my family have chosen sadly to not acknowledge the conditions I have as well as some friends and some others in my life have accepted its a part of me.
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, Depression and more, I felt like my world had crumbled and my life was gone. More so, I also felt like it made my identity and that nobody is ever going to love me for who I am again, even to the point now at times people don't understand and it freaks them out, whats more so is that I am the one battles my life everyday and holding to the ones who understand and care about me on a day to day basis is what gets me through, I used to think I wasn't normal, but then I knew that no one is normal, everyone has something behind that door, not all choose to share it and some are open and honest, either way for the last few years I have decided I am not going to let my Mental Health darken my day to day life and define who I am, because then the battle with it has won even on the darkest days.
3. Family isn't always blood.
I have to say that there is some people in my life now that I couldn't ever be separated from, and no they are not biologically in my family bloodline but the bond I have with them is so strong at times its unbreakable, even when arguments or we disagree, and I feel like its okay to have people who isn't blood and call them family, besides genetics don't define the person, its who they are that counts.
4. Christianity trials/blessings
I became a baptised Christian in 2013, I was going to a church since 2010, when I was younger I made a prayer thinking that someone would save me from a situation, years later that prayer was answered, but what I mean with this point is, there has been some huge blessings in my life since I became a Christian and there also has been some seriously difficult trials to endure, yet being a Christian on a day to day basis isn't easy, there is always something I mess up on, or I say the wrong thing in a heated moment, but for the last 7 years of my life, I have faith and belief that I don't walk this earth alone no matter where I am.
Relationships since I turned 18 have never been an easy one. I longed for a boyfriend when I was growing up in school, I also longed to be with someone who appreciated me, having said that, as I have grown older I have been much more private about relationships, not because theres anything wrong, but I realised that adding stuff on social media and exposing the privacy you share is one thing that damages things hugely, this was a big lesson learned!
I have to say that since the past 5 years, I really have discovered I have a music taste, I have leaned more onto the Rock Genre but having said that, there is some amazing Rock Music by Christians that some of you may never know they were a christian band. My music also has developed way before my time, my love for music from David Bowie to Hobbie Stuart now have changed my perspective on things, I love that my music taste has changed over the years and how I love singing to SClub7 in the shower and remembering when I used to try and be Rachel with one of my best friends growing up.
Music has held many memories to it, when I listen to a certain song, I love remembering the memory behind it, good or bad.
7. Age is just a number.
When I was younger I couldn't wait to be 18, I wanted so much for myself at that age and couldn't wait to do everything I couldn't do. However, since turning 18 I feel like I've not aged a day since, maybe that is just luck, but inside I still feel that bubble of enjoyment and excitement to new things and new changes even when some are hard to manage, I used to think Age was something that also defined you as a person, clearly that was a wrong way to think and now I am glad I haven't thought like that since.
This point makes me laugh when I write the thoughts of it.
My brother and I have become very close these last couple of years, but when I look back at the silly kitchen fights we had growing up arguing who did the dishwasher etc, it makes me smile, from afar even when I haven't realised it fully, my brother has always stood in the background and kept an eye over me. For this I am grateful, even when I make our silly knock knock joke... Im sure if he reads this he will know which one I am on about.
But I really have come to appreciate my brother far more over the years, and enjoy spending time with him, when I was younger he was the worst thing in my life, believe me, those childhood nightmares I would say, very quickly do fade as you get older, so it won't last forever!
9. Relationship with my Dad.
One of the biggest things I have discovered these last 7 years mostly is how quick and how strong and how loved I am of my relationship with my Dad, when I went out to have a meal with him the other day and the words he spoke to me about being so proud of me and how much I've grown into a woman and how much he enjoys me doing this blog as a passion, it reminds me of all the times where I was child and I was crying and I wanted to speak to him. my dad has walked through lava and ice and many battles with me, he also has saved me from anything and has always been there, the memories I've made these last few years have been my biggest strength and my biggest enjoyment. I love looking back at times together but also to making new memories, I have changed into this person who believes she can do things and much more with the help of my Dad, I will always hold on to the things he taught me and done, I love him. But going out for meals and being just adults talking are some of my favourite memories to make.
I wanted to touch on this subject briefly, and no sadly I am not talking about beauty products.
I used to be very insecure about my physical appearance, especially when it came to my arms or legs and I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts in the summer and all my self harm scars would show up, I used to think everyone stared at me when I had glasses on and a hearing aid, thinking I was some kind of freak, I used to struggle as I grew up with the fact I hit puberty later than my friends in school, they all had there womanly parts developed and I was abnormal as I didn't get anything of such until I was 15.
What I didn't know back then is that beauty doesn't define who you are on the outside appearance, and many girls sometimes don't know this, my scars, or my tattoos or my wild hair colour changes doesn't define the person of beauty inside me, and for years I thought my appearance did, its taken a long time to realise that and I've only really let go of that thinking about 2 years ago.
hope you guys liked this post!
please leave a comment if you wish!
Lots of love.
Published by Viccie Hughes