Holy Dickballs

Holy Dickballs

So kids are assholes and I mean that from the bottom of my black black heart.  At least they are in this town and they need to get their asses kicked! Would you like to know why? No? Well I'm gonna tell you anyways because its my blog and not yours ;) ...They wander around town late at night and spray paint peoples houses and vehicles....my vehicle includedbms

What ever happened to getting smacked by your parents when you act like a jackass? I'm so over this new age pamper your little shitheads parenting. And tonight we busted some kids on our lawn trying to attack our christmas decorations...This is really drying up the old ovaries as I will never reproduce a little asshole (a smartass most definitely) but not an asshole.

Well since I am on the child bearing subject I'm pretty positive there are other woman like myself who all their friends are with child or engaged or lets get a little wild and say both. And when I mean all I mean all this town is filled with babies having babies. You graduate and get married. What is this the 1900's?giphy-1So it's safe to say I get a lot of "oh when are you guys gonna start having kids?" "whens your man gonna propose you guys have been together for quite a while now!" First off 3 and a half years isn't even that long and secondly wait a fucking minute and get out of my vagina! I don't get to decide when he is going to get down on one knee at disney land in front of the castles of either Belle or Aurora and propose to me with that perfect 3 karat Tiffany Setting as snow slowly starts to drift around us so get off my back and last time I checked you make babies by getting a bit too drunk and having sloppy sexual intercourse where you think you are a porn star who can bend like a pretzel but really you guys look like two gorillas playing hide the banana. Now as much as I may be ready for that I know that my man is not and thats fine by me. So on behalf of all woman just like myself out there quit pestering us because heaven forbid we might actually be happy with where we are in our lives/relationships and maybe we want to keep our vaginas in tack through our 20's so that when we do start having kids we can still remember what they used to look like in their prime



Published by VintageLivesHere

Reply heres...

Login / Sign up for adding comments.